I am finally writing those three words because, yes, I wrote a book. Well, actually, I have written three. You are probably asking yourself, why haven’t I mentioned it before. After all, I have a large following of book readers and authors. The truth? I was scared. I was nervous. No, I was terrified. I have queried out TWO novels and have gotten over 80 rejections.
Yes, I was nervous to talk about what I viewed as a failure. I mean 80 rejections! For those that do write or those that don’t, writing is personal. It comes from within, and getting rejection after rejection hurts. I have cried. I have wanted to stay in bed all day and not come out. What I never did was want to give up. Yeah, seeing all those rejections, I started to doubt myself and my writing. It is HARD. I asked myself, wow, am I a writer? Can I write? Is it me? Is this even a possible dream?
Still, I kept on writing and kept my writing journey under wraps because I did not think I could handle seeing even one message like, oh, it sounds like you can’t write or wow, stick to reading. Now, though, I am tired of being terrified to put it out there. I believe there are others on the same journey as me. It is why I finally decided to put it out there that yes, I am writing. I would love to hear from others that are on their writing journey.
Many people assume because I have a large audience getting an agent is easy. It is not.
Writing, querying, and looking for an agent has been the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. It is not just about writing. You have to have a query. A query is short three-paragraph synopsis that is gripping enough for an agent to reach out and request to read your novel. The more rejections I kept getting, the more doubt that started to pile up in my mind.
I probably read my query a thousand times.
The first book I ever wrote and finished took me a year. It was a YA fantasy with angels in the real world. I edited it myself, researching how to write a query, and sent it off to 40 agents. Out of those 40 agents, I got 39 rejections and one full manuscript request. I thought, WOW, yes, this is it! I was like, finally, I will tell everyone about my writing journey because this is my agent! However, after a month of waiting, I got a rejection, with the option to edit and resubmit the manuscript. I admit it hurt. It hurt bad.
Still, I picked myself up, and I took another six months, deciding to rewrite the entire manuscript and resent it to the agent.
Again, I got a rejection.
It was like my dream had ended. I was devastated by the rejection, so I took a few months off from writing. I put SO much into my first manuscript. It wasn’t about the hard work. It was about the heart and dream my manuscript signified. I felt so crushed, but once that pain faded, I realized something. Giving up on my dream of having a book published is not something I wanted to do.
So, I started off last year crafting another book. This one was a YA paranormal book about a human girl moving to Alaska to find the guy she falls in love with is actually a werewolf. I fell in love with their story. This time, though, I decided to get a freelance editor. I researched and researched finding an editor to who I sent my book to. I had to save up because hiring a freelance editor is pricey. But I invested in my craft and went through a developmental and line edit.
I learned so much with my editor and writing. Her notes and her help gave me the confidence I lost from my first book. I started querying a month before the pandemic hit. As the rejections again started to trickle in, I kept querying through the pandemic. Needless to say, it went nowhere. I got no’s, and that is if I heard back from an agent. One agent requested a full, but I have not heard back. Is that a good thing? I don’t know. If you do, let me know.
Now, I am on my third novel. A YA fantasy book from two characters’ perspectives. A book I do not think I could have written three years ago.
Nope, I am not giving up.
Instead, I will keep writing until I do get my dream, and I am bringing you along for the ride with me. It is hard. I cry. I doubt myself. But I will not give up because this is my dream.
I have this dream, and I will not give up—comment about your writing journey and where you are at. If you are an author, let me know more about who I should query and your story of getting an agent.