I am finally writing those three words because, yes, I wrote a book. Well, actually, I have written three. You are probably asking yourself, why haven’t I mentioned it before. After all, I have a large following of book readers and authors. The truth? I was scared. I was nervous. No, I was terrified. I have queried out TWO novels and have gotten over 80 rejections.
Yes, I was nervous to talk about what I viewed as a failure. I mean 80 rejections! For those that do write or those that don’t, writing is personal. It comes from within, and getting rejection after rejection hurts. I have cried. I have wanted to stay in bed all day and not come out. What I never did was want to give up. Yeah, seeing all those rejections, I started to doubt myself and my writing. It is HARD. I asked myself, wow, am I a writer? Can I write? Is it me? Is this even a possible dream?
Still, I kept on writing and kept my writing journey under wraps because I did not think I could handle seeing even one message like, oh, it sounds like you can’t write or wow, stick to reading. Now, though, I am tired of being terrified to put it out there. I believe there are others on the same journey as me. It is why I finally decided to put it out there that yes, I am writing. I would love to hear from others that are on their writing journey.
Many people assume because I have a large audience getting an agent is easy. It is not.
Writing, querying, and looking for an agent has been the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. It is not just about writing. You have to have a query. A query is short three-paragraph synopsis that is gripping enough for an agent to reach out and request to read your novel. The more rejections I kept getting, the more doubt that started to pile up in my mind.
I probably read my query a thousand times.
The first book I ever wrote and finished took me a year. It was a YA fantasy with angels in the real world. I edited it myself, researching how to write a query, and sent it off to 40 agents. Out of those 40 agents, I got 39 rejections and one full manuscript request. I thought, WOW, yes, this is it! I was like, finally, I will tell everyone about my writing journey because this is my agent! However, after a month of waiting, I got a rejection, with the option to edit and resubmit the manuscript. I admit it hurt. It hurt bad.
Still, I picked myself up, and I took another six months, deciding to rewrite the entire manuscript and resent it to the agent.
Again, I got a rejection.
It was like my dream had ended. I was devastated by the rejection, so I took a few months off from writing. I put SO much into my first manuscript. It wasn’t about the hard work. It was about the heart and dream my manuscript signified. I felt so crushed, but once that pain faded, I realized something. Giving up on my dream of having a book published is not something I wanted to do.
So, I started off last year crafting another book. This one was a YA paranormal book about a human girl moving to Alaska to find the guy she falls in love with is actually a werewolf. I fell in love with their story. This time, though, I decided to get a freelance editor. I researched and researched finding an editor to who I sent my book to. I had to save up because hiring a freelance editor is pricey. But I invested in my craft and went through a developmental and line edit.
I learned so much with my editor and writing. Her notes and her help gave me the confidence I lost from my first book. I started querying a month before the pandemic hit. As the rejections again started to trickle in, I kept querying through the pandemic. Needless to say, it went nowhere. I got no’s, and that is if I heard back from an agent. One agent requested a full, but I have not heard back. Is that a good thing? I don’t know. If you do, let me know.
Now, I am on my third novel. A YA fantasy book from two characters’ perspectives. A book I do not think I could have written three years ago.
Nope, I am not giving up.
Instead, I will keep writing until I do get my dream, and I am bringing you along for the ride with me. It is hard. I cry. I doubt myself. But I will not give up because this is my dream.
I have this dream, and I will not give up—comment about your writing journey and where you are at. If you are an author, let me know more about who I should query and your story of getting an agent.
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6 Comments
Wow! Congrats on your writing! Don’t give up. You could try self-publishing one of your books while querying the others. I’m sure you will have many readers from your following.
Thank you so much! Yes, that is definitely an option! I did not think of doing that and will definitely look into it!
I am an aspiring writer and have got multiple rejections too. Though not as many Yours though. I didn t send to that many, I don’t think I have your patience for that. I am writing my second book, technically my third, let’s see what happens this week time. Good luck.
Congrats on your second book! Fingers crossed for you! What genre do you write in?
Hi Carly Rae, I think your announcement is very exciting. You obviously feel good about your books, otherwise you would not have put them out for agent queries. You also read a shipload of books, so you know better than most, what constitutes a good book vs. what I like to read. Be proud of your accomplishments, like all of us among the hundreds of thousands o authors who have written good books (my first won the International Book Award) and have not been successful in securing an agent, achieved widespread sales, gained notoriety, etc.
You have three books written and a successful career. That’s terrific! More and diverse success will come because of your drive. Mike Sisti
Hey Mike! Thank you for that message. That is great you won the award and hopefully if you want to get an agent you can! Reading has definitely helped me in my writing and I hope with this third book it shows. Again, thank you!!